Thursday, May 29, 2014

Here's your sign

Here's your sign

Some days it is hard to come up with a blog post. You can rack your brain for hours, turning over countless terrible ideas in your head, realize that you have absolutely nothing to talk about, and end up researching bio-luminescent sea creatures (seriously, no joke...this is usually where I end up). On days like this, you have 2 options: Option 1 is to draft up a mediocre blog post, read and then re-read your work, realize that even you think it sucks and then finally decide that the blogging world would be better off reading about Vampyroteuthis Infernalis (look it up, I dare you...), so you delete the entire thing. Option 2 is to forgo a post altogether.

Then there are other days. Days like today. Days where I just so happened to be staring blankly out the door, debating post ideas in my head, when suddenly the perfect idea walks right into my office. Picture this...a man walks in with a confused look on his face. I ask him how I can help him, and his response? "Is this the 1st floor?" :::Crickets::: First of all, directly next to where he was standing is a floor to ceiling window. And do you know what is fully visible through this window? The sidewalk. Second of all, you entered the building, correct? Do you recall climbing any stairs? Did you get into a big box with a bunch of buttons and push "2" or "6" or any of the other numbers? Were you drugged and dropped off in this random location, unaware of your surroundings? No? Then why, if I may ask, are you unsure whether or not you are on the first floor? Despite my originally intended remarks, I politely told him that yes, we are on the first floor. As he thanked me and walked away, I silently whispered "Here's your sign..."

If you read the last line above and are not sure what I meant by it, you NEED to watch the Blue Collar Comedy Tour. I know it is like 10 years old and seems like a bunch of drunk rednecks standing on a stage (which I can assure you, it is), but man is it funny! Basically, a "Here's your sign" is when someone says or does something so obvious, so in-your-face-are-you-kidding-me that you just want to laugh. Like, literally laugh in their face. In order to avoid actually laughing in someone's face, "here's your sign" was created. Just think of it as a nicer way of saying "Seriously dumbass, did you really just ask that question?"


You answer the phone and someone asks for John. You call out to John, hand him the phone, and he asks, "Is it for me?" ---Here's your sign

You spend an hour getting ready and you are headed out the door with your keys. Someone asks, "Are you going out?" ---Here's your sign

You are waiting in line for the bathroom in a mall/restaurant/bar. Someone comes out of the stall, looks at you, and says, "Do you need to use the restroom?" ---Here's your sign

Like I said, if you haven't heard his stand-up before, its worth checking out. Pretty comical stuff.

I hope everyone is having a great week so far!! Almost Friiiidayyyy!!!

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