Friday, March 28, 2014

Happy Friday...Resolve to know more

Happy Friday!!! It is almost officially the weekend! I wanted to pop on here today and give a little update on our lack-of-ability-to-get-pregnant situation.  This month officially makes 3 years of trying to conceive. I swear, when I say it in my head it doesn't sound nearly as long as when I say it out loud!! For awhile now we have been talking about making an appointment with the RE (reproductive endocrinologist), but for whatever reason we have not made the appointment. I think it has to do with the financial aspect (don't even get me STARTED on how expensive fertility treatment is!) combined with not wanting to admit that we might actually need help getting pregnant. Well yesterday we finally decided that it was time. We have officially sent our new patient application over and we are waiting for a call to set up our initial consultation. Scary, right?

Right now my emotions are a huge jumbled mess. I am beyond thrilled at the idea of finally meeting with someone and potentially finding a solution that will  help us get pregnant. At the same time, I am so worried that they are going to find some crazy problem that we didn't know about that is preventing us from getting pregnant. My biggest fear is that we will go through all of the additional testing, try out treatment after treatment and 3 years from now we are in the same position, only broke. Is that worse than the position we are in now? At least now we have a tiny glimmer of hope that something out there will work. What if we go through everything and that hope is gone? What if we spend our life savings and every treatment fails? There is less than a 20% success rate with IUI---there's more of a chance of success trying naturally each month!!!  I remember the hope we used to have, in the very beginning, when we swore that this was our month, every month. Will that false hope come back, and will each month be an even bigger let down? Or do we go into it knowing that there is a HUGE chance that it won't work?

I know everything that I am saying sounds more negative than positive, and I don't want to come off like I am dreading the process. Because I'm not. If it will help us in our TTC journey and bring us closer to becoming parents, then I am 100% on board. I am willing to save money, undergo injections, ultrasounds and egg retrievals, and do pretty much anything within reason to get pregnant. To anyone who has never had a problem getting pregnant, I envy you!

For whatever reason we were dealt this hand, and month after month we are making the best of it.  If I can accomplish one thing with today's post, let it be this: Next time you want to strangle your kids for spilling milk on the floor, next time you look down in disgust at the stretch marks across your belly, and next time you dream of what your life would be like without kids, just take 30 seconds to think about something. There are people out there who would give up anything in the world to be right where you are. Women who would welcome morning sickness and stretch marks with open arms. Women who dream of cleaning up messes and waiting at the bottom of the playground slide. Women who would do anything to feel that first tiny kick, hear that amazing heartbeat and look down to see the most beautiful face they had ever imagined.

Thank you for listening to my vent and making it to the end of today's post. I know it is much more intense than usual but some days I feel like if I don't get my feelings out, I'm going to burst into a million tiny pieces!

I hope you had a great week!

 Some really informative infertility links:

Wednesday, March 26, 2014

What I'm loving Wednesday!

Since I seem to see the "5 on Friday" a lot, I decided to write my own..and since it's not Friday, today's post is about the seven things I'm loving right now..on Wednesday...

1. The number 1 thing that I am loving right now is that Steven and I have been married for 542 days! That means that in 5 days, we will have been married for a year and a half!! In that year and a half, we have been through so much--we have had plenty of amazing days and more than a handful of days where strangling each other seemed like a splendid idea. Each day that passes makes us stronger & brings us closer together, and I can't wait to spend the next 25,000 days by his side!

542 days ago today I married my best friend <3 <3 <3

2.Cotton Candy Body Spray--I found it at Walgreens a few months ago on my lunch, and every time I would go in I would spray it all over. Well I finally caved and bought it, and it smells delicious!! It's not too sweet to the point where it makes you gag, and it lingers just long enough that you can still catch a faint trace of it at 5:00. LOVE!

3.My newfound interest in Yoga--Hopefully by the end of the summer my flexibility will increase dramatically (considering I can BARELY touch my toes right now) and I will feel better and more energized.

4.Graffitti Nail Polish. If you haven't seen it, check out my Instagram here for a picture. It adds the perfect amount of flair to your nails without being overpowering, and it makes it look like you actually took the time out to do them, when the reality is that it took you 4 minutes during the commercials of TWD.

5. The weather!! It has finally reached gardening/power washing/cleaning up the outside season and I am thrilled!!! At the close of every winter the hubby and I are chomping at the bit to mow the yard, mulch the garden, plant some flowers and get ready for summer!

6. These fence frames that I found on Pinterest. This will make our first official summer project and will look adorable on the fence out back! 

7. TWD--I am literally jumping out of my skin excited for Sunday night! Is Terminus good or bad? Who's getting hacked? (My guess is Maggie---foreshadowing with the picture much?) Will they all meet up?? So many questions!!! 

I hope everyone is having a great week!! What are you loving this week??!

Sunday, March 23, 2014

Finally understanding what your parents meant....

This weekend was one of the annual fairs in our town. This time of year there are tons of fairs and festivals--one of the perks of living in a small town--and we try to make it to as many as we can. Yesterday's festival fell on the perfect day! It was sunny and 80 degrees, which unfortunately resulted in a pretty nasty sunburn, but made for an enjoyable outing. There are rides for the little ones and live music all day--yesterday's shows included the Charlie Daniel's band and Leonard Skynard. While walking around and watching the kids enjoy themselves, my nephew decided he wanted to go on "The Gravitron," the ride where you stand up inside this spaceship looking contraption and the whole thing spins, sucking you against the wall to the point where you can't even lift your head. While spinning, your "seat" (which is literally a big padded wall) raises up to the ceiling. As a kid, I LOVED this ride!! The line was always outrageous, and I swear I would ride it 10 times at every carnival I went to. While riding it, I would try to peel myself off of the wall, only to be sucked back by the crazy levels of gravity. It was pretty much the best ride that ever existed. So back to yesterday. My nephew is only 6, and he was dying to go on the ride, but we didn't know how he would handle it alone. My sister had a headache & my brother-in-law gets super dizzy on rides, so he asked if I would ride with him. Having ridden about 200 times in the past, I willingly agreed. Big mistake. Apparently, 28 year old bodies don't handle being sucked against the wall and spinning at ridiculous speeds quite as well as a 16 year old body. About 30 seconds into the ride, I tried, as I had done a million times before, to lift my head off of the wall and look around. You know that feeling when you are really drunk and the room is swaying? That's pretty much how I felt on this ride. My only option was to stare at my nephew, who at this point was FREAKING out, and not move my head. At all. Trying to keep a 6 year old calm while the entire world is spinning around you is not the easiest task, and I was more than relieved when the spinning slowed and the ride stopped. As I was getting off of the ride, I finally understood what my parent's meant when we were kids. Every carnival and theme park, we begged them to go on the rides with us, swearing up and down that it was a great time and they would love it! Well mom and dad, I can now sympathize with you, and I will never again accuse you of being too scared to go on a ride.

Here s a picture of the ride I am talking about. It goes by tons of different names, one of which is "Starship." If you see this ride, run. Seriously, even if you rode it 1,000 times as a kid, just run.

This is typically what you see inside of the ride. Since the gravity is so strong, you can pretty much do whatever you want and you will stick to the wall. See that kid who is upside down? That was me, 10 years ago. Not so much anymore.

And now here is a look at what I wore to the festival. I am super excited that the weather is finally warm enough to pull out all of my dresses, and I took full advantage yesterday!

Dress & Vest: Rue21 
Boots: Target
Watch: Kenneth Cole
Ring: Old antique

Is she not the most beautiful baby in the world? 

I hope everyone had a fabulous weekend, and I hope the weather was as beautiful wherever you were!!

Thursday, March 20, 2014

Spring has sprung!!!!!

Happy Spring!!! I am so excited that spring is FINALLY here!!! This winter was entirely too cold and I am way over it. I am tired of seeing frost on my windshield, tired of being wrapped in a blanket just to sit by the fire pit, and SUPER tired of having to grab a jacket or sweater EVERYDAY. Trust me, by the time September rolls around, I'll be the first one to admit my excitement about pulling out the boots and cozy sweaters, but for now, I am done with the cold! I'm ready for tanks and flip flops, beaches, tan skin and working in the garden.
To help get everyone ready for spring, I decided to share a few of my favorite items with you. Feel free to use this as a guide, especially if you are stuck in a "boots-with-skinnies-because-that’s what’s-in-my-closet” rut. (Not that there is anything wrong with boots and skinnies---I have more than wore them out this winter!!)
Maxis Dresses: Maxis are my absolute 100% favorite item for the spring (and the summer..and the fall). They can be paired with a cardi for chilly nights, dressed up with some wedges, or dressed down with some flip flops and chunky jewelry. Here are a few of my faves: 

Maxi Skirts: Maxi skirts are right up there with maxi dresses for me. Like dresses, they can be paired with a blazer and wedges for a night out, or you can throw on a tank and some flats for a quick errand. I like to buy mine super long because they ALWAYS seem to shrink, and then I can’t wear them with heels. Here are some that I am loving right now:


Denim Jackets/Vests: I bought a denim jacket last year (which has polka dots and is from the kids department at Target—and I love it dearly) but I have been looking around for another one. During my most recent shopping trip I was able to find 2 denim vests and another denim jacket, and I am LOVING them! They look great over a maxi dress or paired with skinnies and a tank.

Feathers & Dream Catchers: I am loving the look of long dangly feathers and bold aztec-y (it's a word) dream catchers. Here are a few that I was able to find:

Everything that I showed you may or may not have come from Rue 21 (it sure did) and I may or may not own everything on the page (except the accessories…yet). I was going to include a link for where to find each one, but I figured you could peruse through the site and find some other good deals while you are on there.

I hope I was able to provide some good ideas for some warm weather wear, and I hope everyone is having a wonderful week!!!