hy·po·chon·dri·ac
noun: hypochondriac; plural noun: hypochondriacs
- 1.a person who is abnormally anxious about their health.
I don't know if I ever told you this, but as a child I was a HUGE hypochondriac. Between the ages of 5 and 15, I had everything from Anthrax to Scarlet fever, the measles to Tetanus (yes, I thought you could get tetanus). The smallest ailment--a sore throat, a cut on my finger, gas--would turn into a life threatening disease inside of my head. I would crawl around the house on my hands and knees, crying that I needed to go to the doctor. I don't know if it was a cry for attention or I seriously thought that I had somehow managed to come down with all of these illnesses (and then some).
The school nurse and I became best friends in elementary school. I had a headache, let's go to the nurse. Jammed my finger in gym class? I think I should see the nurse. My eye feels like it is twitching, maybe the nurse can fix it! It got so bad that my mom eventually told the nurse that unless I was bleeding out of my eyes to never call her at work again. Aside from constant strep throat, I was never really sick as a child, (The strep actually got so bad that I had to get my tonsils out when I was 13) so maybe that had something to do with it. Either was, I was a drama queen with a capital D.
Fast forward years later..I was 21 or 22 and I noticed a lump on the side of my neck. The 10 year old me would have been at the doctor that afternoon, claiming to have contracted malaria from the bird on my windowsill (seriously, I was that dramatic), but instead I assumed it was a swollen gland and left it alone. A few weeks later it had tripled in size and was about the size of a golf ball. It hurt to swallow, it hurt to touch my neck, and turning my head was out of the question. And let me tell you a secret. I was scared to death. As a kid, all of my made up ailments never really scared me because they were just that, made up. But this was actually a lump on the side of my neck--you could see it and feel it--and I wanted nothing to do with the doctor. Eventually my mother persuaded me to go, and after 10 minutes in the office I was told to go immediately for an MRI. OMG I was freaking out! I could not believe that after all the years of fake sickness, after all the unnecessary trips to the ER--this is the time I choose to stay away from the Dr. I was literally kicking myself the whole way to the hospital.
Luckily, after a biopsy, several scans and a camera jammed up my nose and down my throat (OMG I don't wish that on my worst enemy...it was AWFUL!) the Dr found out that it was just an infected lymph node and I would be perfectly fine. 2 rounds of antibiotics later and I was back to normal.
Lessons learned:
1. The story about the boy who cried wolf is the best story to tell your kids..seriously
2. If a lump develops on your neck and doubles in size within a few days, go to the Dr.
3. When a Dr shoves a camera up your nose and down your throat, then simultaneously sticks a 7 inch needle into your neck, you will gag. And cry.
4. I am no longer a hypochondriac
I hope everyone had a wonderful week!!! Hopefully the weather this weekend will be BEAUTIFUL so we can finish working outside and maybe enjoy the pool!!!
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Sincerely Paula
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I can't even right now--I am the hugest hypo--still am haha!! I have had like 10 EKG's because I swear I am having a heart attack. I have had about 3 bouts with "skin cancer" and I swore one time I was in liver failure :) I have been doing better for about 2 years--no stat care visits lol I bet the nurses miss me :)
ReplyDeleteTori
FashionBlingGirlyThings
OMGSH you are kidding me!!! I had an EKG like 8 years ago because I swore I was having the worst chest pains!!! When I was telling the hubs about today's post and how I used to be such a hypo, he's like, "used to?" I thought I had gotten so much better lol!!!
DeleteBrianna
Omg i agree with Hubby. You may be better then before but still...... After reading this im surprised that the famous clump was not some crazy ailment. Then again you probably went home and googles back clumps. I miss you.
ReplyDeleteHahaha omg the clump!! I still complain about it from time to time! Ugh I miss you!!!
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